Wedding Crashers (25Oct05)

Due to yet another coworker's vacation schedule, we missed another Cheap Night last week. Instead, I spent the evening trying to look busy while assisting the one customer I had between 6 and 8. It was an evening well spent.

So we gleefully returned to The Cheap Theater this week, eager to get back to our regularly-scheduled Cheap Night. It seems to be the end of coworker vacation time for a while, so, barring any unforeseen trips out of town (considering Paul's company's track record, we could be in Europe next week...I never know), we should be back to our normal schedule for a while.

The options this week weren't exactly spectacular, which actually helped us make our decision. It's always harder to agree on a movie if we want to see everything that's playing. This week, it was either Must Love Dogs or Wedding Crashers. We decided on the latter.

The theater parking lot has been especially busy lately -- not really because of the theater but because of the new businesses that are opening and reopening in the strip mall. When we first started coming in January, there wasn't much going on. Now the pet store and the bookstore have both expanded, and the wings place has opened -- and, this week, the lights were on at the new pizza buffet, showing off the construction that's well under way (woohoo!). All the craziness makes it hard to get a good parking spot -- even on slow nights.

The theater itself really wasn't all that busy -- both because it was cold and rainy and because it was still early. We didn't have to wait in any lines -- we just got right in.

The theater to which our esteemed ticket-ripper directed us (actually, on the tickets, they now call the individual theaters "houses") was already starting to fill up. In fact, we couldn't even get two seats together in the back row -- so we were forced to move down the aisle to the center of the theater, to mix with the riffraff. Paul led the way to an empty row near the back, with a single girl behind us and a couple in front of us. He thoughtfully took the third seat in. I'm not sure if that was so I wouldn't have to try to see through the head of the rather large man ahead of us -- or if it was so the girl behind me wouldn't have to try to see through my rather tall frame (it has, after all, caused people to switch seats before). But either way, it was thoughtful.

To be honest, I was a bit excited to get back to the middle of the theater. We'd been missing out on the action lately, in exchange for extra leg room (which has been very nice). So at first it felt good to be back in the midst of the popcorn-munchers and the constant chatter. But that only lasted for a while.

To begin, before the movie started, an elderly couple climbed over the girl behind us, trying to reach the seats beyond her. The friendly old guy greeted the girl with a cheery, "Hello!" which she quietly and reluctantly returned (most likely while trying to decide whether or not she wanted to move to a different row, shared by people who weren't going to invade her privacy and/or personal space by trying to talk to her -- I mean, who talks to people they don't know in a movie theater?). Then the old guy went to take his seat -- but not before removing his coat and smacking me in the back of the head with it. I believe I now have a permanent zipper-shaped indentation on my head.

As the previews played, I heard the old woman ask, "Are we going to see that one?"

"We already have!" the old man shouted back.

Personally, I was amused -- yet somewhat disturbed as well -- that this elderly couple had rushed right out to see The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Perhaps that's because I was never allowed to talk about going to movies in front of my dear, sweet grandparents, who were convinced that anyone who bought a ticket at the movie theater could just as well be buying a ticket to hell (which is why it's so ironic that I grew up to review movies and my brother grew up to make them).

Then again, this cute little old people were there to see Wedding Crashers, which wasn't exactly Bambi -- so I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. In fact, when I think about it, I'm pretty sure Paul and I will someday be those wacky old people.

But I digress...

As it turned out, besides the crazy old people behind us, the girl behind me turned out to be a Seat Kicker. And the woman ahead of me turned out to be a Howler. She found the movie to be very funny (not that I blame her -- I did, too). She laughed all the time -- and instead of laughing the polite movie theater chuckle, she let it all out, throwing her head back and howling in a shocking, seat-shaking way that I never did get used to.

Admittedly, it wasn't as bad as it could have been -- or as bad as it has been in the past. The Howler usually laughed at the times when most of the rest of the people in the theater laughed. The Seat Kicker did not display a constant anxious habit, repeatedly whacking the back of my seat in a fast-paced, rhythmic beat. In fact, I wasn't even annoyed enough to have to turn around and give her a nasty look.

And, fortunately, I have plenty of hair that will cover the zipper dent in my skull.

But still -- I think it might be safest to return to the back row next week anyway.

Incidentally, there's already a review of Wedding Crashers published on NightsAndWeekends.com. I totally agree with Tony -- it's a fun movie. It's wild enough (and there are plenty of hot chicks) to keep the guys amused, but it's still got a bit of a chick-flick story to it. Check it out if you haven't already.