Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm Feeling Much Better, Thanks.

New Reviews at this week:
The Number 23

Any week that starts with a party can’t be half bad. This week started, of course, with Sunday evening’s First Annual COFCA Academy Awards Party. We showed up at the gorgeous party room of John’s posh downtown high-rise just as the red carpet fun was starting. We began the evening by toasting with some especially tasty martinis before diving in to the munchies—and, one by one, the gang began to arrive.

John, who usually doesn’t watch the annual Hollywood Hoohah, was appalled by Ryan Seacrest’s horrible interview questions—not to mention the Glam-a-strator, or whatever the heck they called the thing that the rest of the commentators used to draw squiggly yellow lines around the celebs’ cleavage. But I, being the not-so-secret Red Carpet Whore that I am, loved every minute of it.

As we partook of the Oscar party spread, we all filled out our Oscar ballots. Then we claimed our seats in front of the plasma TV, grabbed another drink, and settled in for a long night. Surprises on Sunday night were few and far between. Though we didn’t expect Alan Arkin to take Best Supporting Actor, after seeing Norbit, none of us were surprised that Eddie Murphy didn’t win. In fact, most of us were surprised that Murphy was still allowed inside the Kodak Theater. Not one of us was shocked to see Jennifer Hudson, Helen Mirren, or Forest Whitaker win. In fact, none of us were surprised to see Marty Scorsese win, either—especially not after hearing rumors that The Big Three directors were going to be giving the award. And even though I [grudgingly] predicted that Babel would take home Best Picture, I was so totally relieved that it didn’t.

In the end, when we were all good and tired and seriously sick of montages, Neil correctly predicted the most winners—and he took home a fabulous prize package, filled with nominee-related gifts. It was a tough race, but Neil pulled out in front in the end. If you see him on the street in his Dreamgirls dress-up shoes, be sure to congratulate him.

I was still trying to recover on Monday morning when I got an email from my esteemed colleague, Clay Lowe, asking if I’d be available to join their award-winning weekly radio show, “It’s Movie Time,” since his partner in crime, John DeSando, has been busy teaching night classes instead of attending screenings. The plan was to see Bridge to Terabithia on Monday night. But, since I was dead tired (man, I must be getting old), and since I spend my Monday afternoons as a knitting instructor for kids—not to mention the fact that I had other screenings scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights—I wasn’t exactly looking forward to catching a Monday night flick. So we settled on Tuesday afternoon instead.

Clay and I met for coffee on Tuesday afternoon. We chatted for a while (and Clay took some time to analyze why I am who I am) before heading in to the theater, where we were joined by maybe nine other people (not bad for a Tuesday afternoon matinee). When it was over, I decided I was much too mentally and emotionally exhausted to head right back out to Tuesday evening’s screening of Full of It. From what I’ve heard, I didn’t miss anything.

So then came Wednesday—the big screening of Zodiac. As I was shoveling down some dinner, I got a text message from David that he was running late—so I was officially on seat-saving duty. I rushed out the door, but, as it turns out, I didn’t need to hurry, since Mark and Bill were already there when I showed up.

Once we were all seated and discussing such fascinating topics as bowling, Bill announced that the movie was two hours and forty minutes long. He explained that he’d been preparing for it all day—by dehydrating himself. That, of course, led the rest of us to worry about the condition of our bladders. Sure, we’d just gone before we left home. But how much did we drink today? Should we go again—just in case? As David explained, the answer to that question is always yes—so we all scrambled out into the lobby and headed for the bathrooms. And it’s probably a good thing we did. Because, as it turns out, Zodiac is actually closer to five and a half days long—and it would have been difficult to hold it through all of that.

We’ve all decided that there should be a law against making movies more than two hours long. It shall not be done. COFCA has spoken.

On Thursday, I hurried to write up my Zodiac review before rushing down to the studio to record the show. Though I never did radio before I met John and Clay last summer—and though I was absolutely terrified on my first time in front of the mic—I enjoy it more and more every time I step into the studio. And, I must say, the three of us work well together. The only challenge is keeping the show down to five minutes—because we hate to edit out our jokes. If you’d like to hear this week’s show, you can listen at

After the show, I actually turned down post-recording drinks because I needed to rush back to the office to get something done before the next screening (despite the fact that Clay insisted that he’d called my office—and they didn’t really need me so much after all). I was scheduled to see Wild Hogs, which Clay totally loved—so I was looking forward to it. I’m not going to call it a brilliant comedy, but John Travolta does make me laugh. And at times I was worried that some of the people around us were going to stop breathing because they were laughing so hard. So that makes it better than both Norbit and (from what I hear) Reno 911!: Miami combined. Not bad for a bunch of old guys.

Today, I’ve been rushing to get all that end-of-week stuff done—because this afternoon, David and I are reclaiming a little piece of our lives. All work and no play and all that. Since we both seemed to burn out at the same time last week, we’ve decided that we’re long overdue to take some time out. So we’re going bowling. David, apparently, is some kind of Bowling Guru. I, on the other hand, am usually just happy if I can break 100. Should be an interesting adventure. Don’t count on me posting scores next week.


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