Popcorn, Anyone?

This week's issues with popcorn-munching in the theater led me to a brief mental sidetrack, which I set aside to enjoy the movie -- but I've since picked it up again.

Why popcorn?

I know that popcorn and movies go hand-in-hand -- and have for ages -- but why? Who the heck decided that it would be a good idea to send moviegoers into the theater with such an obnoxiously crunchy-munchy-noisy snack? I realize that the salt compels moviegoers to also spend an arm and a leg on highly overpriced soda (which, at The Cheap Theater, they rarely do, since everyone smuggles in their own bottles). But couldn't they have come up with a salty snack that's not so noisy? How about selling mini salt licks at the concession stand?

Perhaps they don't actually want moviegoers to hear the movie. Or maybe they just don't care, since they're out there counting the money in the concession stand cash register while the rest of us are sitting in the theater, surrounded by popcorn munchers, wondering what the heck that other guy -- the good-looking one who will obviously get the girl in the end -- just said.