Revenge of the Sith (17Aug05)

After spending two days interspersing work with naps, drinking lots of fluids, and trying to flush a cold that popped up out of nowhere out of my system, I was dying to get out of the house. I was tired. I was sick. I was just the teeniest bit cranky. And I figured the best way to keep that to myself was to shut myself up in a movie theater for a couple of hours. So Paul and I scarfed down some leftover lasagna (made with homemade pasta, thank you very much) and rushed out the door.

We were a little behind our usual Tuesday night schedule, but since it wasn't Tuesday night, it didn't really matter. Wednesday night crowds are child's play -- even in those quick-we've-got-to-do-a-bunch-of-fun-stuff-before-we-have-to-go-back-to-school late-August days -- because no one wants to pay full price (even if full price is a whopping buck-fifty).

We walked right through the line, past the ever-helpful ticket-ripper, who directed us to our theater, where we settled into the two back-corner seats. These seats, I've found, definitely have their ups and downs:

UPS: They're secluded, so you won't have anyone next to you or behind you -- and they've got incredible amounts of leg room.

DOWNS: People often come late (and come and go during the movie), thereby giving you a blast of outside light/noise whenever the door opens. And, for some reason, late-comers often feel the need to hang out in the back of the theater (right next to where you're sitting, trying to watch the movie) and chatter for a while as they decide where to sit.

Two of those late-comers chose -- out of about 200 empty seats in the theater -- to sit directly in front of us. This wouldn't be so bad, really, if the two of them didn't have the big fluffy unkempt hair that guys think makes them look like, I don't know, some suave surfer guy from the O.C. or something. The one on the aisle also had a spinal issue of some sort that caused him to repeatedly (and loudly) crack his neck throughout the movie. The other one -- the big, fluffy-haired guy in front of me had the best posture I've ever seen. Normally, I'd commend the young man for his beautiful posture -- but it's not as commendable when he's sitting up, bolt-straight, directly in front of you (and right in your line of vision), so you almost have to stand up to see Yoda.

One thing I noticed about our Star Wars viewing was the obvious lack of freaks. I remember when I went to see Episode I (check out my review), and there were droids and Siths and Jedi Knights everywhere. But with us, in The Cheap Theater, there were only the standard-issue Cheap Theater Freaks. When Darth Sidious first said the words "Darth Vader," there was only one meager cheer from the other side of the theater. And there were only three nerdy teenage boys (who sat across the aisle from me) who had obviously seen the movie a million times already. But they weren't dressed up as Jedi -- they were just dressed up as nerdy teenage boys.

I have to say, it was a bit disappointing. Star Wars just isn't quite the same without the freaks.

(If you'd like to read a review of Revenge of the Sith, check out Coinneach's review on NightsAndWeekends.com.)