Zathura (7Feb06)

A lot of frantic, last-minute planning goes into our weekly trip to The Cheap Theater. I've got to get all of my work done in time to throw dinner together (and I often find myself racing from my office to the kitchen and back, trying to do both at the same time). Paul has to make sure he leaves work on time -- because he knows I'll start calling and harassing him if he's not seated at the table at precisely 6. Then, while we eat dinner, we discuss our movie options and choose one based on a number of factors, including:

1) Show time
2) How packed the theater will be
3) Our general movie-watching mood

Then we finish our dinner, scramble to clean up the kitchen (at least a little bit), brush our teeth, and race out the door. All this for a 50-cent movie. But I'd say it's worth it -- wouldn't you?

This week, we had an added time factor -- I had a CD on reserve at the library, and if I didn't pick it up, they'd put it back on the shelf, and I'd have to wait until my name made it to the top of the list again. I hadn't had the time to make the trip during the day, so we'd just have to do it on the way to the movie. With that in mind, we purposely chose a movie that started later -- but we still didn't leave as early as planned. We hurried to the library, where Paul dropped me off at the door and I raced in, hoping to grab the CD and run. But of course life is never that easy. It's times like these when the line is at its longest, and it's filled with people who need new library cards and moms with a bunch of kids who want to check out bunches of books. As I waited in line, I contemplated just giving up and forgetting about the CD -- but I really wanted it. So I stayed. And as soon as I had it in my hands, I politely wished the librarian a good evening (we're polite like that here in the Midwest) and sprinted out the door to the getaway car.

It's also times like these when every light seems to be red -- and every slow driver in town pulls in front of you. Or perhaps I'm just being melodramatic. What can I say? I really hate being late -- especially for movies. Even the 50-cent ones.

We finally made it to the parking lot, and as we raced to the theater, I took notice of the newly-opened pizza buffet (yea!). While we were eating dinner on Saturday night (I'll admit it -- at another pizza buffet), I happened to hear a guy telling the couple at the next table (yes, I was eavesdropping -- so sue me) that his family had almost gone to the new pizza buffet next to The Cheap Theater -- but then they realized that the employees were just setting up, and it wasn't opening until Monday. I was pretty darn excited -- but, just for the record, we ate dinner at home on Monday. (We will, however, be trying it out soon.)

The interesting thing about the new place: it's already changed its name. Since last week. That can't be a good sign.

Once at the theater, we were lucky. There weren't any lines. Not to buy tickets, and not for the ticket-ripper, who was way to engrossed in a conversation about sports with the security guard to pay us much attention, other than to direct us to our theater mid-sentence.

Since Zathura has been in The Cheap Theater for an age, the theater wasn't very full. And there were very few kids in attendance -- which I thought was odd, considering we were seeing a kids' movie, and there are always kids at The Cheap Theater. Perhaps they were all too busy watching Saw 2. Mostly, there were older couples, popcorn-munching little old ladies, and a random smattering of generally-creepy-looking, middle-aged Solitary Guys. I watched one of said Guys (one of the not-so-creepy-looking ones), who arrived shortly after us, attempt to switch seats a few times in an attempt to find one that was somewhat padded. Obviously, he's not a regular Cheap Theater patron. We regulars have learned that if you want a padded seat, you need to bring your own pillow -- or maybe one of those fold-up bleacher cushions.

We got there just in time to catch the commercials -- and I was thrilled to find that they'd actually gotten a couple of new ones. Very exciting.

The theater crowd was pretty spread out this week -- though I could still hear the little old ladies munching popcorn on the other side of the theater...and the kids doing the same all the way down in the front.

Most unfortunate, however, was the couple seated nearest to us -- a row ahead and to the side. These poor people were not only able to sit still without fidgeting for more than ten seconds at a time, but, sadly, they were born without the ability to whisper. I felt bad for them, all chatty and jittery. Their lives must be very difficult. I had a coworker like them once. He never shut up, and he always ended up saying something totally stupid and/or inappropriate -- especially if there were clients around. And he was so jittery that whenever he sat at the big conference room table, the whole table would shake, making it really hard for anyone else to take notes. It's a sad condition, really. There's got to be something we can do about it. I think I'll write a letter to Bono to see if he can start an International Foundation to Raise Worldwide Awareness and Support for Chronic Fidgeters. Together, maybe Bono and I can find a cure for these poor people. Together, we can make a difference.

(For my review of the movie, check NightsAndWeekends.com next week.)