The Producers (21March06)

I had a difficult decision to make this week. My friend's husband was called in for a last-minute business trip, meaning that one of their hockey tickets was available. My boys, the Blue Jackets, against Gretzky's Coyotes, with Cujo in net. Normally, I would have jumped at the chance to go -- but Paul had just gotten home from his week-long business trip, and I was still recovering from the overtime I'd put in while he was gone.

Not only that, but it was Tuesday.

Yes, my dear friends, I chose The Cheap Theater over hockey tickets. I've obviously lost my mind.

Okay, so The Cheap Theater wasn't the only deciding factor, but there I was, getting ready for a 50c movie, when I could have been taking my seat at the arena. It was pretty pathetic.

It was a pretty hectic week once again, and since there were a ton of great movie options this week, we decided to make our decision based on showtimes. If we were ready early, we'd go to one of the earlier shows. If we were running behind, we'd go to Good Night, and Good Luck at 7:45. But by the time 5:00 rolled around, we'd both pretty much given up. I got started on dinner on time, and Paul packed up and came home earlier than usual. So we figured we'd have no problem getting to The Producers at 7:10.

Despite the fact that it was the second day of spring, we'd been hit with a snowstorm. Okay, not a storm. But more snow than we'd gotten in a long time. I drove my car instead of taking Paul's Mustang, which didn't get its snow tires this year (since we didn't get snow this year). Being a little rusty with the whole driving-in-sown thing, I found it to be a bit terrifying, which I thought was pretty funny -- since, just two winters ago, we were living in a place where getting a foot of snow overnight wasn't all that uncommon. Now a dusting of the stuff freaks me out.

Of course, I wasn't the only one -- nor was I the most freaked out. Around here, when it snows, people either drive like maniacs with a death wish or 95-year-old ladies. I, of course, am the only one who drives correctly on the ice.

So, needless to say, I was pretty relieved to pull into the parking lot.

Just as I found a parking space, I heard the radio announcer on the Blue Jackets pre-game show talk about Sergei Fedorov, who would be returning that night after being injured.

"Aw, man," I whined, "I didn't now Sergei was going to be back."

"You can still go," Paul joked. "Just pick me up on your way back."

Secretly, though, I was happy to be there. I was glad that I didn't have to go alone again -- and I was glad, after a crazy week, to just sit down in a dark theater and unwind for a couple of hours. I was even happy to see the ticket-ripper. Because while she's been especially distracted and/or indifferent recently, she actually seemed relatively happy tonight. She pointed us in the same direction as the people ahead of us, and as we followed them down the hall, I said a prayer that they weren't back row kind of people.

Fortunately, they weren't.

Unfortunately, the back row seat that I chose was completely lacking in padding -- which, considering that the movie was over two hours long, ended up being a very bad thing. My butt is still angry.

As we settled in, Paul took notice of the screen. "New commercials!" he said excitedly.

"I know!" I told him. "They were here last week, and I was so excited!"

We actually got to watch previews of movies that aren't even out yet. It was all so very exciting.

Meanwhile, the theater filled up with a large amount of elderly people -- who, I'm guessing, were fans of the original movie. There were so many of them, in fact, that I found myself worrying that they'd fall on the ice outside the theater and break a hip. If there weren't so many of them, I would have brought them back out to the parking lot myself, to make sure they made it to their car safely. Then again, I'm pretty clumsy, and I tend to slip on the ice a lot, so I probably would have done more harm than good.

But anyway...I've found that watching comedies at The Cheap Theater is always especially entertaining. Sure, the movie is (sometimes) funny. But the crowd is even funnier. It's a little bit like going to the zoo -- a squawk here, a honk there, a howl over there, a roar back there... I think Paul and I laughed even harder at our fellow moviegoers than we did at the movie itself.

After the movie ended, we shuffled through the parking lot (because of both the coat of ice on the pavement and the numbness in my butt) to the car. We were just in time for the post-game radio announcer to inform us that the Blue Jackets had lost, 5-2. Not a surprise, really, but it did make me feel better about passing up the ticket. Though we weren't totally enamored with the movie, at least it hadn't been a big downer, like a 5-2 loss.

This morning, I felt even better about going to the movie instead of the game. As it turned out, my friend had the date wrong. Her tickets were for the 9th -- not the 21st. So after she and her daughter failed to get in, they ended up turning around...and going to a movie.