Mr. and Mrs. Smith (23Aug05)

This week, I experienced a reversal of fortune at The Cheap Theater. This week, I wasn't the one with the bad movie karma...

As has been the case of late, we arrived at the theater at the regular time and took our seats in the back corner. This week, it was especially thoughtful of us to sit there, since I'm still fighting the last stages of a nasty cold, which still subjects me to the occasional coughing fit -- and if I were sitting in the middle of a crowded theater, that would be just plain rude. I'm starting to realize, though, that sitting in the back corner may not be totally beneficial for the Cheap Theater Experience in general. While it's nice and secluded and generally comfy, it takes me away from The Cheap Theater Crazies, thereby making the experience so very...normal.

But I digress...

We took our seats behind an early-20-something couple, and -- since we were still quite early -- we struck up a very business-like conversation about web development (which has been the case quite often lately, since we just released a new-and-improved NightsAndWeekends.com). We'd been chatting for a while when the couple ahead of us got up, walked down the aisle, and took new seats in the middle of nowhere.

I gasped when they got up and left. "Were we being annoying?" I asked Paul in shock. We weren't being loud, were we? After all the obnoxious people we've encountered in our seven months of Cheap Theater experiences, could it be that -- in a strange reversal of roles -- we could be the ones who drove our fellow moviegoers crazy? How strange..!

But then the two took their seats, and I watched their two heads become one. "Oh..." I said, relieved. "They just wanted to make out. They wanted privacy." So it wasn't just us after all. I felt much better.

In general, the whole Tuesday night experience was quite pleasant, really -- after someone fixed that horrible buzzing speaker (but hey -- that's what you get for 50 cents). The people who eventually sat in front of us weren't too tall -- nor did they have big, poofy hair. They didn't have small children. They were a little on the chatty side, but not enough to be really irritating. No one gathered around our seats to hang out and chat. Everyone around us behaved like...grown-ups at a movie theater.

Of course, that wasn't the case everywhere in the theater. If it had, I probably would have been concerned that I'd accidentally been warped into a strange parallel universe. But no... Elsewhere in the theater, cell phones rang and rang in all directions. Women shrieked in random fits of laughter over things that weren't really all that funny. But none of them were close enough to make me jump out of my seat every time they did it.

It was unusually peaceful. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to enjoy a movie without distraction.

Frankly, it was just plain weird.

Normally, as we walk out of the theater, Paul and I try to find our way back to the car while discussing all the Crazies around us. This week, I stepped out of the theater and began discussing the weather. It was actually quite cool out, signaling the pending start of the school year.

We walked out behind two college girls, though, who had found themselves in my usual position.

"Could you believe them?" one was saying.

"That other lady was going to say something, too. She was like, 'Excuse me...' but you beat her to it," the other one said.

"She probably would have been nice about it. Not me!" the first one told her friend.

And I just smiled, relieved that I'm not the only one with Bad Movie Karma -- yet a little disappointed that I hadn't been nearby to witness whatever it was that had happened. I felt like I'd missed out on all the fun.

Next week, the kids will all be back in school, and the Tuesday night insanity will once again slow down for the school year. Personally, I'm kinda hoping that, as the kids disappear, the Crazies will once again come out of hiding. I hate to admit it, but I might just miss them a little.


By the way...my thoughts on the movie: thumbs up. The action started getting a little drawn-out and boring toward the end, but overall, I loved the action / romantic comedy combination. For a full review of the movie, check out Coinneach's review on N&W.com.