Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Prime (13Dec05)

For some reason, Tuesday has always been the worst day of the week for me. On Monday's I'm still in a good mood after the weekend. But on Tuesdays, the week sinks in, and I become just a little bit crabby and forlorn. It's even worse if the weather happens to be cold and grey, as it was this week. To make matters worse, there just weren't any movies at The Cheap Theater that really excited us this week. We were close to foregoing our usual Tuesday movie ritual for Blockbuster and booze. But at the last minute, we changed our minds and rushed out to the theater.

The first thing I noticed when we pulled into the parking lot was that the lights were on at the new pizza buffet. It's not open yet, unfortunately -- but they've obviously got the construction crew working overtime to get it done. I give it a month, tops.

Once again this week, a few suits made their eerie appearance at The Cheap Theater. The guy who sold us our tickets wore a suit; the guy selling tickets next to him wore the standard-issue peppermint-striped shirt. Our ticket seller was way more polite, of course (not that I know from any experience with the peppermint shirt guy -- I'm just making a general assumption here). And he made sure to tell us to enjoy our show. If you ask me, we don't pay enough to actually enjoy the show. That's just an added bonus.

The ticket-ripper -- the one who's now always there on Tuesdays -- wore a striped shirt. He did not tell us to enjoy the show.

We selected our seats in the back row, as usual. When I sat down, my seat shook and made a terrifying noise that had me fearing for my general safety. I think, from the sound and feel of things, that my seat chose to throw a spring when I sat down. I actually leaned forward to look for it under my seat.

I must say, I was offended. I'm not overweight. I'm just a little bit big-boned, thank you very much. I'm 5'10", for goodness sake. I'm not supposed to weight 98 pounds. But I'm not heavy enough to break a seat!

"I think I broke my chair," I whispered loudly to Paul.

I've sat down in some pretty worn-out seats in our nearly a year of regular visits to The Cheap Theater, but this one surpassed them all. There was a butt-dent so huge in the middle of the seat that it felt much like watching a movie while seated on a toilet.

I don't even want to think about what must have taken place in that seat to make it so worn.

I would have gotten up and changed seats, but I was pretty sure that it would be impossible to pull myself out.

The dynamics of the crowd that had gathered to see Prime with us was as surprising as the movie itself (though you'll have to wait to read my review for me to elaborate on that part). I figured the movie was a chick flick -- so I expected the crowd to be almost entirely female. There were plenty of women there, as expected, but there were also three rather elderly men, all of whom had come to the movie alone. And right as the movie started, three college-age guys walked in and took seats at the front of the theater. At that point, I just assumed that there would eventually be a naked Uma Thurman appearing on the screen. But I was wrong. And thus, I still have no idea why all those guys were there.

I was also amused by the four college girls who walked in shortly after the three college guys. Despite the fact that the theater wasn't all that full, the girls chose to climb over top of one of the solitary elderly gentlemen. And instead of following Standard Movie Theater Procedures by leaving an empty seat between them and the old guy, one of the girls plopped right down next to the poor guy, who was quite visibly flustered.

But then the movie began -- and, believe it or not, there wasn't a single distraction. I've found that less popular, low-budget films tend to draw a more reserved crowd -- and that was definitely the case with Prime. The movie itself was pretty quiet -- and so was the crowd. The only sound was the occasional laughter -- and everyone agreed on the moments in the movie when it was appropriate to laugh.

If it weren't for the padded toilet seat that I was seated upon (which, incidentally, was frighteningly reminiscent of Grandma's house), it would have been a utopian movie theater experience.

And the guy in the suit got his wish. I enjoyed the show -- in fact, I enjoyed it way more than I should have, considering I paid a mere 50 cents.


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