Friday, September 07, 2007

What Day Is It, Anyway?

New at Since Last Time:
3:10 to Yuma

This whole holiday weekend thing always throws me off—and I’ve spent the whole week trying to figure out what day it is. But my planner tells me it’s Friday, so I’ll run with that.

This week was a short one, but we still managed to squeeze in three screenings. Tuesday night was another late-night screening. Those 9:00 screenings tend to be ridiculously exhausting, but what can I do? There was no other way to see Shoot ‘Em Up, and I absolutely love Clive Owen, so there was no way in heck I was skipping it.

Then again, my husband was away on business this week, which means that my schedule was way off anyway. I worked until 6:30, at which time I ran to the grocery store to pick up some husband’s-out-of-town necessities (microwave dinners and a pint of coffee Haagen-Dazs) before inhaling a Lean Cuisine pizza and some ice cream in front of the TV before racing out to the screening at 8.

I didn’t know what to expect from Shoot ‘Em Up, since Colin (a.k.a. McLovin) told me a few weeks ago that he didn’t like it. And that says a lot, coming from a guy who will admit to having a man crush on Clive Owen. But, having seen it, I have no idea what Colin didn’t like about it. In fact, it seems like it’s right up his alley—but hey, what do I know?

From the first shot of the movie—the close-up of dark, serious, tough-guy Owen…taking a big ol’ bite out of a carrot—I couldn’t help but love it. Sure, it’s unnecessarily violent, but that’s just part of the fun—that, and its all-out B-movie campiness. As I pointed out after the screening, it was like Crank—only good. It was definitely worth the late-night screening.

As soon as I got in the car, I scribbled down some notes. When I got home, I mixed myself a drink and prepared to write my review. Sure, it was late, but my husband was gone, so I had no reason to get to bed on time—because no one would be pulling my ass out of bed at 7. I had the best of intentions. I was going to crank out a draft and head to bed. But I ended up staring at my computer screen for an hour or two before giving up and calling it a night.

Though I’d set my alarm for 8:30, I woke up at 7:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. So much for getting my 7 hours. For a while, I refused to get up. It wasn’t fair. But I couldn’t sleep, so I crawled out of bed, took a shower, and started brewing up the coffee.

I spent most of my day staring at my Shoot ‘Em Up review (or at least a blank screen that was supposed to be my Shoot ‘Em Up review (I did, however, have the movie’s title neatly typed in at the top of the page). There was, however, one nice thing about not being able to write my Shoot ‘Em Up review—while I was unable to write that particular review, I did manage to finish a book review that I’d been unable to write for the past week. So there’s that.

By the time I had to leave for Wednesday night’s screening, I still had little more than a few scribbles.

Wednesday night’s screening was The Brothers Solomon—a movie that we knew would be best after a few drinks. Fortunately, the movie was screening on campus, so we decided to meet up for happy hour before the screening. We were supposed to show up at 5:30, but I figured I’d leave a little early, so I could get a good table on the balcony. It’s a good thing I left as early as I did, though, because I ended up stuck in traffic. Why is it that people always decide to have accidents during rush hour? According to the sign on the highway, the accident was, conveniently, right at the exit I needed to take. So I ended up taking advantage of the fact that everyone was merging over to the left to avoid the lane closures, and I took an earlier exit. Of course, this was an exit I’d never taken before, so I’d have to figure out where I was and somehow make my way to campus.

On the bright side, I don’t live in Boston anymore. If that had happened in Boston, I would have been screwed. But this is Columbus. Columbus is based on the convenient Grid System. So if you know the direction you need to be in—and, better yet, if you know a few street names—you’re good to go.

God bless Columbus.

So I was late, but not verylate. When I got there, Jason was leisurely sipping his Coke and perusing the menu. And as soon as the waitress showed up, I wasted no time in ordering my $2 Long Island pitcher. It was hotter than Hades in a heatwave on Wednesday, but we sat outside anyway. It’s probably best that way—because it means we were alone, which means we couldn’t irritate any other customers. We could drink our pitchers in peace while trying to think of some movie—any movie—that we’re looking forward to seeing this fall. I came up with Sweeney Todd and…Sweeney Todd.

Kevin arrived after I did, but he still managed to suck down three pitchers of Long Island before we had to high tail it over to the theater. Since I had somehow forgotten to eat lunch that day, I figured one was enough for me (though I did help him out just a tiny bit with pitcher #3).

Sadly, however, no amount of alcohol could have prepared us for The Brothers Solomon. By about halfway through, I was begging Jason to kill me. By three-quarters through, I was curled up in my seat, begging the characters to shut up. Meanwhile, the guys ahead of us were busting a gut. They were laughing and stomping their feet. Clearly, they were way drunker than I was. But that’s just plain sad. Wanna know what else is sad? As Jason and I were walking into the parking garage, we heard a group of people talking about what we can only hope was some other movie. One of them said, “I’m so glad we went! So many people missed out because they thought it would be bad.”

Jason and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. It’s pretty sad that people are so starved for humor that they’ll even laugh at The Brothers Solomon. And, to name another fine example, Norbit.

Somebody did, however, get hit by a bus, so Kevin vowed to give it an extra star just for that.

There was, however, one [other] good thing about The Brothers Solomon. It was short. So I was home by about 9—early enough to take some notes before hitting the couch to watch Top Chef. Then I headed back to the office to stare at my Shoot ‘Em Up review before giving up and going to bed.

As of Thursday morning, I was officially Way Behind. My Shoot ‘Em Up review was halted at three paragraphs, and my Brothers Solomon review was nothing but notes. But I had to head out to see The 11th Hour at (you guessed it) 11. By that point in the week, I was pretty much staying alive via caffeine drip—but even that wasn’t enough to keep me coherent through Leo DiCaprio’s new Inconvenient Truth. I did manage to stay awake, but let me tell you—Leo didn’t make it easy for me. And that’s saying a lot, coming from someone who managed to stay awake through an entire semester of college astronomy.

After the screening, John and I took a walk down the road to Cosi for lunch. Since I figured I’d probably end up having nothing but coffee for lunch again on Thursday, it was a nice change. And it was the perfect day to sit outside and eat a salad.

After lunch, I spent the rest of the day in an unsuccessful attempt to finish anything. By the time I gave up at 7:30, I had a whole pile of unfinished reviews sitting on my computer. But I had laundry to do, and I was starving, so I just called it a day and went to watch a DVD or two instead.

Finally, last night, I figured out what I’m doing next week. For a while, I was planning to head to Toronto for the film festival. Then, for a while, I was thinking about ditching Toronto and heading to Dallas with my husband for a few days. Now, however, it looks like I’m going to be sticking around here, catching a bunch of screenings and getting up early on Thursday to head to the radio station.

Perhaps it was all of the indecision that was keeping me blocked—because I got up this morning, made myself some coffee, and got to work on finishing those three unfinished reviews, much to my great relief. I was tempted to take the rest of the day and just goof off to celebrate, but I still have seven others on my list of reviews that I was supposed to finish this week. Since it’s 4:00 now, I suppose I should get to work…

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